It's Not Me, It's You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.

Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership. They learned to have better ones themselves through relationships, inner self journey, therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships. The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner, and roots grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.

Format: Hardback
Length: 288 pages
Publication date: 27 October 2022
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Inc

Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they "found themselves" first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won't fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?

It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which were still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn't truly wake up until he was pushing 40.

In Its Not Me, Its You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.

The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It's more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don't grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.

Its Not Me, Its You is for anyone who has ever felt stuck in a relationship, anyone who has ever wondered why their partner doesn't seem to understand them, and anyone who has ever wanted to create a deeper, more meaningful connection with their partner.

Weight: 372g
Dimension: 150 x 219 x 29 (mm)
ISBN-13: 9780063206311