Love: A History in Five Fantasies

Love is a complex emotion that is often difficult to understand. Historian Barbara H. Rosenwein explores five enduring fantasies of love, such as like-minded union, transcendent rapture, selfless giving, obsessive longing, and insatiable desire, and how they have shaped our understanding of love throughout history. She argues that by understanding the history of how we have loved, we can better navigate our own tumultuous experiences and write our own scripts.

\n Format: Hardback
\n Length: 200 pages
\n Publication date: 01 October 2021
\n Publisher: Polity Press
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Love is a complex, bewildering, and ecstatic emotion that encompasses a wide range of different feelings and moral judgments. To make sense of it, we often turn to fantasies, stories, and other forms of imaginative expression. Historian Barbara H. Rosenwein explores five of our most enduring fantasies of love in her book, Love and Lovemaking: Like-minded Union, Transcendent Rapture, Selfless Giving, Obsessive Longing, and Insatiable Desire.

Each of these fantasies has a long and tangled history, and they have had a lasting impact on how we think about love in the West. However, each fantasy leads to a different conclusion about what we should strive for in our relationships.

If only we could peel back the layers of love and discover its "true" essence. But love doesn't work that way; it is constructed on the shards of experience, story, and feeling, shared over time, intertwined with other fantasies. By understanding the history of how we have loved, Rosenwein argues, we may better navigate our own tumultuous experiences and perhaps write our own scripts.

One of the most enduring fantasies of love is the idea of like-minded union. This fantasy involves finding someone who shares our values, interests, and beliefs, and who is compatible with us in every way. It is a desire for intimacy and connection, and it is often associated with the idea of finding our "soulmate."

The fantasy of like-minded union has a long and tangled history. It has been celebrated in poetry, fiction, and letters for centuries, and it has been a central theme in many religious and philosophical traditions. However, the fantasy of like-minded union also has its limitations. It can lead to a narrow view of love, and it can ignore the complexities and contradictions that are inherent in human relationships.

For example, the fantasy of like-minded union can lead to a sense of complacency in relationships. When we find someone who shares our values and interests, we may be tempted to take them for granted, and we may not put in the effort to maintain the relationship. This can lead to boredom, resentment, and even divorce.

Another limitation of the fantasy of like-minded union is that it can be exclusionary. When we prioritize finding someone who shares our values and interests, we may overlook individuals who are different from us but who may be just as compatible or even more compatible. This can lead to a sense of isolation and loneliness, and it can prevent us from experiencing the full range of emotions that are inherent in human relationships.

Despite these limitations, the fantasy of like-minded union remains a powerful and enduring force in human relationships. It is a desire for intimacy and connection, and it is a fundamental aspect of our human experience. By understanding the history of this fantasy, we can better navigate our own relationships and strive for a more fulfilling and meaningful love.

Another enduring fantasy of love is the idea of transcendent rapture. This fantasy involves experiencing a profound sense of connection and intimacy with another person, and it is often associated with the idea of spiritual awakening.

The fantasy of transcendent rapture has a long and tangled history. It has been celebrated in poetry, fiction, and letters for centuries, and it has been a central theme in many religious and philosophical traditions. However, the fantasy of transcendent rapture also has its limitations. It can lead to a sense of escapism and detachment from the world around us, and it can ignore the complexities and contradictions that are inherent in human relationships.

For example, the fantasy of transcendent rapture can lead to a sense of disconnection from our own emotions and bodies. When we experience a profound sense of connection with another person, we may become so absorbed in the other person that we lose touch with our own needs and desires. This can lead to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction, and it can prevent us from experiencing the full range of emotions that are inherent in human relationships.

Another limitation of the fantasy of transcendent rapture is that it can be hierarchical. When we prioritize experiencing a profound sense of connection with another person, we may overlook the importance of equality and respect in our relationships. We may become so focused on the other person that we forget to consider their needs and desires, and we may even exploit them for our own gain.

Despite these limitations, the fantasy of transcendent rapture remains a powerful and enduring force in human relationships. It is a desire for intimacy and connection, and it is a fundamental aspect of our human experience. By understanding the history of this fantasy, we can better navigate our own relationships and strive for a more fulfilling and meaningful love.

Another enduring fantasy of love is the idea of selfless giving. This fantasy involves giving our time, energy, and resources to another person without expecting anything in return. It is often associated with the idea of love and compassion, and it is a fundamental aspect of many religious and philosophical traditions.

The fantasy of selfless giving has a long and tangled history. It has been celebrated in poetry, fiction, and letters for centuries, and it has been a central theme in many religious and philosophical traditions. However, the fantasy of selfless giving also has its limitations. It can lead to a sense of martyrdom and self-sacrifice, and it can ignore the importance of boundaries and self-care.

For example, the fantasy of selfless giving can lead to a sense of depletion and burnout. When we give our time, energy, and resources to another person without expecting anything in return, we may become so depleted that we are unable to take care of our own needs and desires. This can lead to a sense of resentment and frustration, and it can prevent us from experiencing the full range of emotions that are inherent in human relationships.

Another limitation of the fantasy of selfless giving is that it can be exploitative. When we give our time, energy, and resources to another person without expecting anything in return, we may become so dependent on them that we lose our sense of self-worth and independence. This can lead to a sense of powerlessness and helplessness, and it can prevent us from experiencing the full range of emotions that are inherent in human relationships.

Despite these limitations, the fantasy of selfless giving remains a powerful and enduring force in human relationships. It is a desire for intimacy and connection, and it is a fundamental aspect of our human experience. By understanding the history of this fantasy, we can better navigate our own relationships and strive for a more fulfilling and meaningful love.

Another enduring fantasy of love is the idea of obsessive longing. This fantasy involves feeling a deep and intense desire for another person, and it is often associated with the idea of romantic love.

The fantasy of obsessive longing has a long and tangled history. It has been celebrated in poetry, fiction, and letters for centuries, and it has been a central theme in many religious and philosophical traditions. However, the fantasy of obsessive longing also has its limitations. It can lead to a sense of obsession and compulsion, and it can ignore the importance of boundaries and self-care.

For example, the fantasy of obsessive longing can lead to a sense of entrapment and addiction. When we feel a deep and intense desire for another person, we may become so obsessed with them that we are unable to think or act for ourselves. This can lead to a sense of dependence and helplessness, and it can prevent us from experiencing the full range of emotions that are inherent in human relationships.

Another limitation of the fantasy of obsessive longing is that it can be destructive. When we feel a deep and intense desire for another person, we may become so consumed by our emotions that we hurt ourselves
Another enduring fantasy of love is the idea of insatiable desire. This fantasy involves feeling a deep and intense desire for another person, and it is often associated with the idea of sexual desire.

The fantasy of insatiable desire has a long and tangled history. It has been celebrated in poetry, fiction, and letters for centuries, and it has been a central theme in many religious and philosophical traditions. However, the fantasy of insatiable desire also has its limitations. It can lead to a sense of objectification and exploitation, and it can ignore the importance of boundaries and self-care.

For example, the fantasy of insatiable desire can lead to a sense of objectification and exploitation. When we feel a deep and intense desire for another person, we may become so focused on our own desires that we forget to consider the other person's needs and desires. This can lead to a sense of disrespect and violation, and it can prevent us from experiencing the full range of emotions that are inherent in human relationships.

Another limitation of the fantasy of insatiable desire is that it can be destructive. When we feel a deep and intense desire for another person, we may become so consumed by our emotions that we hurt ourselves or others. This can lead to a sense of guilt and shame, and it can prevent us from experiencing the full range of emotions that are inherent in human relationships.

Despite these limitations, the fantasy of insatiable desire remains a powerful and enduring force in human relationships. It is a desire for intimacy and connection, and it is a fundamental aspect of our human experience. By understanding the history of this fantasy, we can better navigate our own relationships and strive for a more fulfilling and meaningful love.

In conclusion, love is a complex, bewildering, and ecstatic emotion that encompasses a wide range of different feelings and moral judgments. To make sense of it, we often turn to fantasies, stories, and other forms of imaginative expression. These five enduring fantasies of love have a long and tangled history, and they have had a lasting impact on how we think about love in the West. Each fantasy leads to a different conclusion about what we should strive for in our relationships, but by understanding the history of how we have loved, we can better navigate our own tumultuous experiences and perhaps write our own scripts.

Like-minded union is a desire for intimacy and connection with someone who shares our values, interests, and beliefs. It has been celebrated in poetry, fiction, and letters for centuries and has been a central theme in many religious and philosophical traditions. However, it can lead to a narrow view of love and ignore the complexities and contradictions that are inherent in human relationships. Transcendent rapture involves experiencing a profound sense of connection and intimacy with another person and is often associated with the idea of spiritual love. It can lead to a sense of disconnection from our own emotions and bodies and can be hierarchical. Selfless giving involves giving our time, energy, and resources to another person without expecting anything in return and is often associated with love and compassion. It can lead to a sense of depletion and burnout and can be exploitative. Obsessive longing involves feeling a deep and intense desire for another person and is often associated with romantic love. It can lead to a sense of obsession and compulsion and can be destructive. Insatiable desire involves feeling a deep and intense desire for another person and is often associated with sexual desire. It can lead to a sense of objectification and exploitation and can be destructive. By understanding the history of these fantasies, we can better navigate our own relationships and strive for a more fulfilling and meaningful love.

\n Weight: 486g\n
Dimension: 147 x 221 x 29 (mm)\n
ISBN-13: 9781509531837\n \n