What Are We Really Fighting About?: How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations

Lisa Brateman, LCSW, offers couples strategies to fight better and transform conflicts into conversations, addressing loaded issues such as financial infidelity, sexual infidelity, work-life balance, and more. The book encourages couples to fight with respect, acceptance, and love, and provides examples of successful couples who have mastered the art of productive arguments. By articulating needs and finding ways to make conflict productive, readers can improve their relationships and create a space for understanding.

Format: Hardback
Length: 264 pages
Publication date: 03 September 2024
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

Relationship specialist Lisa Brateman,LCSW offers couples strategies that will help them fight better so they can transform conflicts into conversations,in a book that Booklist says,will likely help many couples.” What Are We Really Fighting About? How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations gives couples permission to fight. Because,after all,everyone does. They fight about loaded issues like financial infidelity and different ways of spending money,sexual infidelity,working too much,traveling too much,fighting too much,not being involved in childcare,interfering in-laws,levels of intimacy,routine sex or boring sex,body image,guilt,secrets,vulnerability,hopes,and fears. And the elephant in the room: Why wont he/she /they change? Were so conditioned to think that all fights and arguments are bad,but that isnt true. This book shows couples that fighting can be productive if they learn to fight in a way that isnt hurtful and shift away from entrenched patterns that arent working. Its okay to feel angry with a partner and have a heated argument if couples fight with respect,acceptance,and love—and then reconcile differences and disagreements. What Are We Really Fighting About? shows couples exactly how to change sides—to understand their partners pain,to acknowledge and appreciate their perspective,and ultimately to create an environment where vulnerability is welcome. Many examples of couples who have successfully mastered the art of productive arguments will enable readers to use these techniques in their own relationships. As a result,readers will learn how to fight better by articulating what they need and what is possible,and then find ways to make conflict productive and healthy. Developing the skills to turn conflicts into conversation.
Lisa Brateman, LCSW, a relationship specialist, provides couples with tactics to improve their fighting skills so they can turn disagreements into productive conversations. The book, "What Are We Really Fighting About? How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations," is likely to be beneficial to many couples, according to Booklist. Couples are given the freedom to fight in this book, which acknowledges that everyone does it. They argue about contentious topics like financial infidelity, various spending habits, sexual infidelity, working too much, traveling too much, fighting too much, not participating in childcare, interfering in-laws, levels of intimacy, routine sex or boring sex, body image, guilt, secrets, vulnerability, hopes, and fears. The elephant in the room is the question of why they won't change. We've been taught to believe that all fights and arguments are bad, but that's not true. This book demonstrates to couples that fighting can be beneficial if they learn to fight in a way that doesn't hurt and move away from entrenched patterns that aren't working. It's acceptable to be angry with a partner and have a heated argument if couples fight with respect, acceptance, and love and then reconcile their differences and disagreements. "What Are We Really Fighting About?" demonstrates to couples how to change sides, comprehend their partner's suffering, acknowledge and appreciate their viewpoint, and ultimately establish an atmosphere where vulnerability is appreciated. Numerous instances of couples who have successfully mastered the art of productive arguments will allow readers to apply these strategies in their own relationships. As a result, readers will learn how to fight better by stating what they need and what is feasible, and then finding ways to make conflict productive and healthy. Developing the skills to turn conflicts into conversation.

Weight: 435g
Dimension: 224 x 146 x 23 (mm)
ISBN-13: 9781538182246