First Comes Love

Tom Rasmussen's ATTITUDE is a funny, inquisitive, and sharp look at marriage, exploring why it continues to be appealing in the West despite its patriarchal, elitist, and white supremacist roots. The book examines what marriage means across sexuality and class and what the future looks like for this historic institution.

Format: Paperback / softback
Length: 288 pages
Publication date: 21 July 2022
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC

Bitingly funny, infectiously inquisitive, and ferociously sharp. Adored!

ATTITUDE
A fascinating interrogation
GRAZIA
An incisive, witty, and moving look at marriage - as an achievement, a compromise, a selling-out, a practical solution
REFINERY29
It was one thing to get married when your parents, your neighbors, your community insisted on it, when a sacred union for heterosexuals was not just one option but the only option. Its quite another to keep doing it in when free of that societal and religious pressure. What is the allure of an institution grounded in patriarchy, in elitism, in white supremacy in the West, an institution that invalidated all but one kind of love till quite recently? Why do so many of us fight against these social ills while also posting pictures of proposals on Instagram? Is it possible to be married while subverting the institution by doing it one's own way, or is marriage having the last laugh after all?

Tom Rasmussen comes from a Northern, working-class family, for whom marriage is the centerpiece of life. They are also a male-bodied, non-binary queer person in a relationship with a man. Journeying through wildly different weddings, visits to wedding planners, interviews with the much-married, those who have questioned their decision to marry, and those who would never consider matrimony, this is an incisive, witty, and moving look at marriage - as an achievement, a compromise, a selling-out, a practical solution.

Tom Rasmussen examines what marriage means across the spectrum of sexuality and class, and what the future looks like for this most historic and universal of institutions.

An incisive, compassionate probing of the pleasures and pitfalls of marriage ... A deft deconstruction of normativity today
DAZED

Tom Rasmussen is a smart and engaging writer, and this book is a must-read for anyone who has ever considered the institution of marriage. He offers a nuanced and thoughtful exploration of the joys and challenges of marriage, from the romantic to the practical, and from the personal to the societal. Rasmussen's writing is witty and relatable, and he has a knack for finding the humor in even the most difficult situations.

One of the most interesting aspects of this book is Rasmussen's exploration of the different types of marriages that exist today. He discusses traditional marriages, same-sex marriages, interfaith marriages, and even marriages between people of different classes and cultures. Rasmussen shows that marriage is not a one-size-fits-all institution, and that there are many different ways to approach it.

Another strength of this book is Rasmussen's ability to tackle difficult topics with sensitivity and compassion. He does not shy away from discussing the challenges that come with marriage, such as infidelity, communication problems, and financial stress. However, he also highlights the many benefits of marriage, such as the emotional support, companionship, and shared experiences that can come with it.

Overall, this is a thought-provoking and entertaining book that will appeal to anyone who has ever considered the institution of marriage. Rasmussen's writing is intelligent and engaging, and he offers a fresh and insightful perspective on this most historic and universal of institutions. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning more about marriage, or in exploring the many different ways that it can be approached.

Weight: 200g
Dimension: 128 x 196 x 22 (mm)
ISBN-13: 9781526653154