What You Could Have Won

A failing psychiatrist transforms his girlfriend into a drug experiment to gain fame and recognition, but their toxic relationship leads to her collapse into dependence. The novel explores female resilience in the face of social control.

Format: Paperback / softback
Length: 276 pages
Publication date: 03 November 2020
Publisher: And Other Stories

Fame, the ultimate pursuit, holds immense value in the eyes of many. However, Henry Sinclair, a struggling psychiatrist, disagrees. He believes that love is merely a temporary affliction of the brain, a notion that stems from his own personal struggles. Driven by a desire for recognition and validation, Henry orchestrates a career-defining discovery that is unfortunately stolen from him by a supervisor who exudes an unpleasant combination of nipple grease and hot-dog brine.

Henry is a master of emotional manipulation and a relentless seeker of attention. He craves the recognition he believes his genius deserves, and he will stop at nothing to achieve it. To gain prominence, he transforms his girlfriend, Astrid, a rising singer-in-ascendance known for her raw and cathartic performances, into a drug experiment. He systematically works to instill feelings of worthlessness in Astrid while simultaneously feeding off her fame. As Astrid succumbs to her dependence, a toxic relationship unfolds. On one side, Henry exhibits the bullying instincts that are prevalent in an industry where dominance and aggression are currency. On the other side, Astrid possesses a peculiar strength—she is more comfortable delegating her talent than owning her brilliance.

Their journey takes them from their apartment in New York, where they indulge in endless episodes of The Sopranos, to a nudist campsite in Greece, where they encounter the tantalizingly handsome Gigi, who engages in playful interactions with octopi in the sand. They also venture to a celebrity rehab facility in Paris, founded by the enigmatic artist Hypno Ray, known for his scandalous reputation and penchant for cassocks.

What You Could Have Won is a story born out of regrettable events, but it is also a testament to the resilience of women in the face of social control. It explores the complexities of relationships, the power dynamics at play, and the lengths people will go to achieve their goals. Through the characters of Henry and Astrid, the novel sheds light on the consequences of fame, the price of ambition, and the importance of self-discovery. It is a cautionary tale that reminds us that success and recognition should not be the sole determinants of our worth, and that true happiness and fulfillment can only be found within ourselves.

Weight: 266g
Dimension: 197 x 128 x 23 (mm)
ISBN-13: 9781911508861